|Posted on April 5, 2018 at 12:55 AM||comments (313914)|
Shame is a lie
Shame locks us up and shut us down. Shame is empowered by secrets and darkness. Shame says, “You are wrong, you are bad, and you are not welcome here.” Shame lies. It says, “You can’t change. You will never be accepted. You are not enough.”
“The shame of being broken can break us worse than being broken.”– Ann Voskamp
Shame is a poison that robs us of hope. While shame is a lie, it can be broken, exposed and healed. Shame disintegrates when the unspeakable is spoken and light floods darkness. Shame dies when stories are told in safe places. A safe place is a miracle where an untold story spoken out loud can transform into a new life awakened…resurrected.
Soul liberating truth:
Your scars proved you are brave, prove that you can weather any storm. Your scars are a part of you, but you are more than the stories of your scars. Scars may come, but shame never have to.
“How might you’re scars be lending you courage?” “How might they be shared to en-courage others?"
Decide today to end the lie of shame in your life, and let yourself breathe a kind of new life.
Let’s start today!
|Posted on March 25, 2018 at 11:05 AM||comments (3457)|
Today a client shared her struggle with how she sees herself in this world. She questions how anyone could see her as beautiful when she feels so broken. She is wrought with pain (“something is wrong” and shame (“I am wrong”;). She wrestles with the trauma she has endured in her short 20 something years. She feels lost and invisible…to herself and to others.
How we see ourselves and how we believe others see us shape our experience in this world. For example, if as a child you were surrounded by positive role models and encouraging adults who supported your gifts, accomplishments and positive qualities you most likely feel generally good about yourself and this world most likely is a welcoming place to you. However, if you were brought up in a home where there was little engagement or support and most interactions with others was based on fear, anxiety or anger, you may feel unwelcomed by others around you and see yourself as a stranger of sorts, a misplaced outsider in this world.
The way we grow up matters. How it has shaped our identity and formed our ability to navigate this life is impactful. However, it does not have to be the permanent definition of who we are, our value or our worth. Our history is not our whole story. It does not have to be a life sentence. Our history is just our backstory. It’s the back drop to today and today is just another beginning. We get to define the rest of the story from this day forward.
There is hope!
Call today and let’s get started with your next chapter together 754-366-0734
|Posted on July 14, 2016 at 12:45 AM||comments (229710)|
I often hear my clients say they feel "stuck". This of course can mean a number of things, some of which may include, feeling afraid, sad, angry, lonely or lost. Like being lost in the forest, with no sense of direction, no clear path to follow, and no exit signs, it can feel overwhelming and very scary. Feeling this way over a period of time is exhausting and so you freeze or get "stuck".
There are many ways we can lose our way or get stuck in life. Sometimes we lose our way because we stopped paying attention to our own inner warning signs to either "slow down", "turn around" or "walk away". Sometimes we find ourselves lost in another person's overgrown and chaotic life, and by focusing so much on how to help them find their way though their mess we never realize how far we wondered off our own path. Sometimes our focus gets blurred by the hurts from the past, the pressures of the present and worries about tomorrow. We lose our way because we are not watching where we are going. We are distracted.
I have found that offering my clients a way to see themselves for an outside perspective can be most helpful. It is like stepping out of the painting of your life and looking back at it from outside the frame. This way, together the client and I can better pinpoint where they may have left their path and then determine the best ways to slowly and carefully make their way back. As a fellow sojourner, I too have wandered and lost my way. I have come to realize that having a trusted fellow traveler as a companion can be the greatest comfort of all. This is one of the reasons I love being a professional counselor. To be able to walk alongside someone and encourage or support their transformation is a gift many have given me. What a privileged to share this sacred journey. Make the choice to call and ask for help today. Your path to new life is waiting!